Majorettes in Space

Hmmm. This is quite provocative. We start with "Vincent" - a naked gay lad putting on a condom that's been made from latex provided by a nearby tree. He likes to have sex and celebrates at gay pride for the same rights as the heterosexuals who also like to make love. They also need to use condoms else they'll have too many children to fit in their small car! Think, though, of the poor Soviet cosmonauts up on the Soyuz 27. They are heterosexual men who like sex but what opportunity? Perhaps needs must on their prolonged mission? Well no, because "Igor" forgot the rubbers and so "Dimitri"has gone outside in the huff. Majorettes don't know about sex yet as they are too young and then, finally, there's the Pope. He lives in airports and communes with invisible beings so he has something in common with the young cheerleading "Julie" who also converses with extraterrestrial beings (think Marvel etc.). How can we tell them all apart? Well show them instructional videos of course - of sex. This has the Pope furious and leaves the young girl bemused. She can't do any of her baton twirling in space - gravity etc, even if majorettes are the fantasy of the poor blokes stuck in space with their increasingly blue helmets. Now we learn that "Vincent" has AIDS and isn't long for the world. The pope is old, so neither is he - but at least he can drink Polish vodka to take the edge off that thought. "Dimitri" also likes vodka and after quite a few shots imagines that he is now a majorette. Well until he takes too much of the stuff and falls asleep. The moral? Only mankind knows from the start that he is destined to die. Only mankind can write poetry. This is funny and potent, especially as the narrative - which is delivered in short and pithy statements - approaches the end of this feature and points out the inconsistencies of what is "shocking and scandalous".